Don't interrupt a scene. If you don't like what's happening, leave the area. If you think that what's taking place is unsafe, tell a dungeon master.
Hold your comments until after the scene. The scene does not end as soon as the action is over. Most tops will tend to their bottoms through a cool-down period. This coming-down process is important and shouldn't be interrupted.
The don't touch rule also applies to someone else's toys. Many people are pleased to show off their toys, and may well let you try them. Simply grabbing one without asking is not the way to do it.
Clean up after yourself. This means more than just move your toys out of the scene area once you're done.
Leave space for the top to move during a scene. If the room is too crowded, stand against the far wall or leave the room. If the top asks you to move, then move! In most play circles, if you get close enough to disturb the scene, the top would be within his rights to swing something at you.
Be quiet while scenes are going on, or go to the social space to chat! The admiring or joking comment you think you are quietly whispering to the person sitting next to you is often heard by the bottom or top, whose senses are sometimes hyper-tuned and on edge.
Novices attempting to start conversations with the top or the bottom during scenes is one of the most common and astonishing etiquette errors at play parties.
Do not join in scenes, even if it looks like they are free-for-alls. A scene that might look to you like lots of folks are joining in to pleasure or otherwise play with the bottom might in fact be pre-arranged between the top and other acceptable players to look casual. Or it might be that the top is subtly signaling audience members he knows to be acceptable. Join in only if the top clearly beckons you in. If in doubt, don't join.
At the party, relax, be yourself, be open and friendly; ask questions about BDSM technique if you need to make conversation; listen to what others have to say. Bring your sense of humor.
Do not mention anyone at the party to those not at the party without that person's express permission to name him. These parties are private; what happens there stays there.
In advance of the party, read a few books on BDSM and try to pick up a few pointers about what you might see. You might even pick up some fine points of etiquette.
